Biggest Problems Facing Mexico In 2009

1. Devastation of Mexican boxing icons by Pinoy tsunami Manny Pacquiao.

2. Swine flu, which is not Mexican swine flu but is mistakenly called that by various pigs, racks country’s huge tourism business. Cancun hit by swine flu but don’t tell anybody..

3. Surviving ring icon, Antonio Margocheato, suspended by California and Bob Arum defends him vociferously…until lab results on hand wraps come in. We can’t blame the Tijuana Tornado’s fall on Megamanny.  No, we can’t.

4. Pesky narcotraffickers who employ and/or murder police and assassinate anyone in the way of their thriving drug trade. Big surprise, they get their weapons of choice from America.

5. Did we mention how Pacman wiped out Barrera and Morales and dropped Juan Manuel Marquez four times in two highly competitive bouts?

6. Miguel Cotto, handily beaten by Margocheato, keeps saying he thinks Tone Loc’s gloves felt like there were horseshoes inside them…we’ll never know, but suspicion runs deep with Boricua Bomber and his fans.

7. Idea to alleviate Pacquiao’s wreckage of our top fighters: See if we can get him to become a dual citizen just like some publicity-hungry Pinoy pol wants to give Coach Freddie Roach Filipino dual-citizen status.

8. When we thought Oscar De La Hoya would destroy that tiny Pacman, we referred to the Golden Boy as a Mexican. He got smashed and trashed and now he is known to us as an American who was completely washed up before he got into the ring with Manny.

9. As desperate as we are to have one of our guys beat Pacquiao, we can’t honestly sign off on Manny against Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. as that would be legalized murder. That would make us as bad as the narcogangsters.

10. Since Juan Manuel Marquez is our last remaining icon, we had some hope he could nip Pacman in a third bout.  But now he will get whipped by Floyd Mayweather come July 18. Looking on the bright side, we guess Pacquiao won’t be using any Mexican boxers as his personal piñata for a while. That is called pugilistic progress.